Here is a Method That is Helping Wallflowers Connect Better

Wallflowers are people who attend networking events and are usually standing in the back of the room not talking to anyone.  They are the people who are not comfortable starting a conversation.  So, they wait for people to approach them.  I give people a lot of credit for getting out of their comfort zone and attending a networking event.  However, if you don’t talk to people, then what is the point of being there?

Over the years, event organizers have come up with ways to help wallflowers and frankly anyone to connect better with others at the same event.  The most recent phenomenon is SpeedNetworking.  (read my post What is so Special about SpeedNetworking?).  You have probably heard about it already but it is basically Speed Dating for professionals.  In the course of an evening, you have the opportunity to interact with several people by talking one-on-one for a given amount of time (approx. from 2 to 6 minutes).  After each conversation, you then rotate and talk to the next person. By the time you are done, you will have talked to about 10-15 individuals, which is probably more than if you were just put in an open networking environment.

Some friends of mine have been doing this for years and have the awesome domain, SpeedNetworking.com. While based in Chicago, they have done this around the world.  In addition, they have hooked up with eXtreme Networking, another Chicago outfit that provides matching software.  Registered attendees fill out a profile ahead of time and then get matched to people that fit who they want to meet. So, at the event, they rotate to people who fit their target rather than meeting people in a random order. This has been a very effective technique.

10 Tips to Maximize SpeedNetworking

Here are a few tips to help you maximize your time at a SpeedNetworking event:

1.  Make sure to bring plenty of business cards. You should never run out.
2.  Prepare a personal introduction so you are focused because you only have an allotted amount of time with each person.
3.  Take notes on back of business cards so you remember your conversations.
4.  Follow-up with only those people who you feel a connection. It is impossible and not necessary to follow-up with everyone.
5.  Make sure that you give each person the respect to a conversation even if you don’t want to talk to everyone.
6.  Smile to show that you are open to a conversation. 
7.  Drink water in between conversations because you will have a lot of conversations in a short period.
8.  Don’t interrupt people during a conversation. What for a pause or appropriate time to jump in.
9.  Don’t monopolize the conversation. Give the other person an appropriate amount of time to talk.
10.  Connect people together who you think would benefit from knowing each other.  Since you will meet several people, you may be able to play matchmaker.

With the right mindset and preparation, wallflowers can definitely benefit from SpeedNetworking. Structured networking is a beautiful method because it works.  You are guaranteed to walk away with some new contacts. I encourage you, if you haven’t already, to attend a SpeedNetworking event in your community. In addition to the name SpeedNetworking, keep an eye out for similar events with different names such as Fast Pitch Networking.

What has been your experience with SpeedNetworking? Please let me know by posting a comment.

Comments

[Dr. Pete]

Although I've had some good experiences with speed networking, I have to disagree slightly with your point about wallflowers. Yes, activities like speed networking do force introverts out into the open, but not always with good results. The same quirks and confidence issues that make people uncomfortable approaching others go into overdrive when forced to go face-to-face in an environment like speed networking.

Part of the problem is that networking activities are almost always designed by extroverts. As a bit of a wallflower myself, I've found that I operate best in an environment that allows some relationship building: for instance, a smaller Meetup or roundtable discussion that allows me to participate in a group and get to know people. As I've met more people this way, I've found there are always a handful of faces I recognize at the bigger networking events, making approaching people a lot easier.

[Jason Jacobsohn]

Good points Pete. You are correct that structured networking doesn't work for everyone. I over generalized a bit. Thanks for sharing additional ways that you connect comfortably.

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Networking Insight: Here is a Method That is Helping Wallflowers Connect Better