Networking Insight

Focus on the Good, Throw Away the Negative

How many times do you meet someone who is a negative person?   I do quite often.  How often do you choose to see this person again?  I sure do.  Well, I am here to tell you that you should focus more of your energy on positive people.

Negative people can bring you down.  So, why associate with them?  While I try very hard to see the good in everyone, after awhile the negative outweighs the good qualities.  The beauty about relationship building is that you are free to choose who to spend your time with.

We are all busy so if a relationship is not working, we need to move on.  Be smart with your time because it is precious.

Below are a few signs that you should cut your losses and move on:

1. The individual continuously talks negative about people who you know
2. The individual continuously talks down about his/her career
3. The individual doesn’t offer to help you ever; it is more about how you can help the person
4. The individual never acknowledges your accomplishments 
5. You don’t ever look forward to seeing this person

As you probably noticed above, negative people are also individuals who only care about themselves.  After awhile, it gets tiring if people only care about themselves.   As long as you are helping, then you don’t want the relationship to be one-sided.  Without both sides helping each other, it is not a healthy relationship.

The best relationships are give and take, which happens seamlessly because you want to help each other.  Relationship building should be fun work.  Whenever it becomes something that you don’t enjoy, move on to the next person.

So, my task to you is re-evaluate some of your relationships and wind down one negative one so you can free up more of your time to focus on positive relationships.

Essential Tools for Developing Your Personal Brand

One of the keys to effective networking is developing your personal brand.  You want people to remember you, not your company.  In fact, workers switch jobs an average of 10 times between the ages of 18 to 38.  Relationships are built on personal interaction so you need to make sure that your contacts get to know you both personally and professionally.  Without this mindset, you will have a difficult time sustaining some of your relationships over the long term.

To help you better develop your personal brand, study the below techniques that I also use.  With the proper amount of discipline and hard-work, you can develop your own personal brand, which is a HUGE leverage point for building relationships.

Personal Email Address

Since we change jobs so often, it can be a challenge for us to keep in touch with our network through our work email.  Therefore, I suggest that you buy your own domain name such “yourlastname.com” and then create an email such as [email protected].  I do this with [email protected]. 

The great thing about a personal email is that people will always be able to get ahold of you no matter what your job.  Also, with a personal domain name, if you need to, then you can transfer it from ISP to ISP.  While you can use a Yahoo or Hotmail email as well, it doesn’t have the same level of professionalism as your own domain.  Also, if you ever want to change ISPs, then you have to change your email again. 

Regardless of what email you use, make sure that it is professional and descriptive of who you are.  You want people to see you as professional so don’t use any nicknames or inside jokes as part of your email.

While I am advocating that you should keep in touch with your network with a personal email address, I am not implying that you shouldn’t use your work email either.  In fact, work email is great for new contacts and ones that you are more inclined to do business with while working at your current company.  At some point, you need to convert them to your personal email address. 

Subject Matter Expertise

In order for people to truly remember who you are, you need to develop a subject matter expertise.  Pick a topic that you are passionate about and, of course, one that you know a great deal about and brand yourself as the go to person.  Topics can be related to your profession or a hobby.  Whatever you decide, make sure that people know this is your expertise.  For example, I have built my brand around “networking” by creating an email newsletter, developing a Website, writing articles, and now this blog.  Because of this, I have been asked to speak to groups about networking as well as contribute additional articles.   Over time, people will associate you with your subject.

In the beginning, you will have to be proactive and reach out to people to let them know about your expertise.  Below are some techniques that you can implement:

• Write articles and submit them to online and offline publications. 
• Develop a Website that showcases your expertise by including your background, any published work, etc.  Also, provide some good resources for people so they can come away with more than just your bio.  Of course, make sure the content is related to your expertise. You want people to frequently come back to your Website so add new content when you can.  For example, I put a Chicago events calendar on my Website, which is perfect complement to my site and it keeps people coming back.
• Create double sided business cards. On one side, put your personal contact information and the other side, mention some of your skills or your Website. Be creative with this one as long as you highlight your expertise.   Use an inexpensive service like Vista Print to create these cards.

Personalized Note Cards

It is a good habit to send handwritten notes to people after you meet them for the first time.  Most people never follow-up after an initial conversation so make sure that you do so with grace.  A great way to stand out is to have personal note cards made that include your name, email, and potentially your Website.  Also, make sure that you have the envelopes pre printed with your name and address.  Make sure that this is specific only to you so don’t use your company name and address.

Sending a note to someone after a first meeting is a great way to build a relationship and get the next meeting.  Focus your note on how you enjoyed the conversation (bring up some of the ideas discussed), any follow-up that you said you would do (such as a referral), and inquire about a next meeting. 

In addition, send thank you notes to people who did something nice for you.  They will appreciate that you acknowledged them and will remember you for this.  It is common courtesy to thank people, which will encourage them to continue to help you in the future.

Definitely don’t send a form letter because this is not personal.  Email is a close second to a handwritten note but generally will not stand out as much as a handwritten note.  You will be remembered for this note because most people do not take the time to write one.  While sending a note is a great way to differentiate yourself, you need to follow up with an email or phone call to truly stay in touch.  A note is a great first step to build and maintain relationships.

What other tools do you use to build your own brand with people?

Check out some of my other posts on Personal Branding:

• Define Your Personal Brand
• Send Handwritten Notes
• Own Your Own Domain

Book Review: Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

Another networking book that I recently read is Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time by Keith Ferrazzi.

Book Description (excerpt from inside book cover)

The secret, master networker Keith Ferrazzi claims, is in reaching out to other people.  As Ferrazzi discovered early in life, what distinguishes highly successful people from everyone else is the way they use the power of relationships-so that everyone wins.  In Never Eat Alone, Ferrazzi lays out the specific steps-and inner mindset-he uses to reach out to connect with the thousands of colleagues, friends, and associates on his Rolodex, people he has helped and who have helped him.

REVIEW

Format and Style

The book is well organized and easy to read.  One of the great aspects of this book is that Keith shares with his readers the techniques that he uses so you can walk away with ideas that you can implement immediately.  Because of this format, the book is very conversational in tone.  Overall, an enjoyable and fairly quick read.

Content

Keith organizes the book by the following sections:

Section 1: The Mind-Set
Section 2: The Skill Set
Section 3: Turning Connections into Compatriots
Section 4: Trading Up and Giving Back

Keith does a good job of covering the basics of networking.  In the book, he focuses on how you need to build one relationship at a time.  I agree with this strategy because you need to nurture each relationship to build sustainable long term contacts.  As mentioned above, Keith shares with his readers his personal strategies such as “don’t keep score”, “managing the gatekeeper”, “pinging – all the time”, and “build your brand”.  It is great to read a book in which the author is a case study to what does and doesn’t work.

Throughout the book, Keith also highlights well-known people such as Bill Clinton, Dale Carnegie, and Benjamin Franklin to demonstrate their networking abilities.  The interesting aspect about all of these people is that they know (or knew) how to build relationships.  Whether they knew it or not, they were demonstrating excellent relationship techniques. 

Recommendation

Much like any book on networking, Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time discusses some basic elements of networking that are nothing new for me or probably you.  However, what Keith does is reinforce what we may know and put it in context from his personal experience.

At the same time, Keith shares with his readers some more advanced techniques that take a lot of time, patience, and discipline.  Most people would never go to the great lengths that Keith does to build relationships.  Keith gets it and built his own brand over time from learning what to do by experimenting with various techniques.  For example, Keith regularly holds dinner parties for people who are in town.  He uses this technique for post conference gatherings so he can bring some of the conference goers into his home.   

I admire Keith for his understanding of how valuable relationships are for business and life.  In fact, Keith has made a living out of helping people build better relationships with his firm Ferrazzi Greenlight.  To learn more from Keith, check out his Never Eat Alone blog.

I recommend this book to anyone who would like to learn from a master networker.  Even though some of what this book covers is basic, it reinforces what you need to do in order to build great relationships.  At the same time, you will come away with some new techniques.  As I have stated before, I am a big believer in learning from other people.

If you liked this review, then go get yourself a copy of Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time.

What is N-E-T-W-O-R-K-I-N-G?

For each of us, when we think of networking, we all have our meanings.  I decided to have some fun with this post and thought of what networking means when confined to the letters of the word NETWORKING.  Have fun with this and let me know what you come up with as well.  If I get enough submissions, then I will share all of these in a future post.

Need to help others before you ask for help

Effective management of your relationships

Trust others before you can form a strong bond

Work the room at an event

Organize an event so you can invite your network

Relax and be yourself when talking with people

Kindness is important for connecting with others

Inform your network about relevant news and events

Nobody is beneath you so treat everyone with respect

Give your time, expertise, and knowledge to others when forming relationships

5 Ways to Connect Online When You Don’t Have Time Offline

The busier we get as professionals the more difficult it is to interact with individuals in person.  In addition to work obligations, we also have family obligations.  I know this first hand because I just had my second child six weeks ago.  I was used to attending on average 2-3 events per week.  Right now, until the baby gets older, I almost stopped attending evening events. I did manage to attend a couple but it has been difficult.  Over time, I will re-integrate networking events into my life.

Even though, I haven’t been able to physically connect as much, I am still interacting with people but more so in the virtual world.  So, below are some strategies that I have used to still stay connected through the online world. 

1. Blogosphere – Staying connect through the blogging world has probably been my most utilized technique.  Maintaining my Networking Insight blog has taken up the bulk of my free time. It has been a great way for me to stay connected with my readers and other experts in the business networking space.  By spending time writing for my blog, I have continued to brand myself as a networking authority.  At the same time, I have been commenting on other blogs, which has been a great way for me to build relationships.  You don’t need to have a blog to leave comments. 

2. Personal Website – Another activity that has kept me busy is maintaining my personal Website at Jacobsohn.com.  I created this Website so I could share resources with other business professionals in Chicago.  I spend time every week on this Website by updating content, especially my events calendar.  I actually started this Website long before my blog so it has been an important part of my brand.

3. Email Newsletter – Even before I created my Website, I have always had an email newsletter, “Network Your Way to Success”, which I have been publishing for at least 5 years.  It is a way for me to connect on a regular basis with my network and to share some great networking resources.  I used to send this out twice a month but now I just send it out once a month.  You need to find the right balance.

4. LinkedIn – Still another way that I have stayed connected is through LinkedIn.  While I will admit that I am not a heavy user, I still do connect with people from time to time through this technology.  The most value for me is to review other people's profiles in my network to see who they are linked to.  I haven’t acted on many of the connections yet, however, it is good to know that I can tap into their networks when appropriate.

5. Good Old Fashioned Email – Right behind my blog, I probably spend the next chunk of my time staying connected through email. Email for me is one of the best tools for connecting. Without email, I wouldn’t be able to send out my email newsletter.  In addition, I leverage email to send articles to people, invite them to breakfast or lunch, or to let them know how I am doing.  I make sure to spend the time to nurture my network by utilizing email.

You are probably already implementing several of the above strategies.  If you are already using all of these, then you have a great framework for connecting.  You can always do more so make sure that you continue to nurture your relationship through these methods.

If you are only using a handful of these techniques, then why not try 1 or 2 more?  Give yourself the chance to reach out to people in various ways.  Some ways will work better for others while others will not.  Be flexible and experiment to see what works the best for you and your network.

The Secrets to Attending Conferences so You Can Come Away with More Than Just Free Pens

Fellow blogger David Dalka's recent post, SES San Jose - Conference Networking Tip, inspired me to take his conference tip a step further.  As David mentions, he brings an extension cord so that he can provide extra plugs for anyone who can't find one of the scarce power outlets at an event.  Very creative idea David!

So, below are some more secrets to attending conferences so you can come away with more than just free stuff.  The key to attending conferences is to build relationships not to come home with as many free pens, key chains, mints, etc. as you can.

Plan Ahead

Take the time to study the conference information ahead of time.  Review the agenda and anything else that you find about the conference. Most conferences have Websites devoted to them so make sure that you thoroughly review all of the information so you know what will be talked about and who may be there. Take a good look at who will be speaking and the topics so you can focus your efforts on certain sessions.  It is impossible to attend everything so pick the most relevant ones for you.  You want to make sure that you leave time for open networking so don't spend the entire time sitting down.

Once you have a good idea of what to expect, contact the organizer to ask additional questions about the format and what types of people show up.  If this is a repeat conference, then the organizer should have plenty of information to share.  Also, ask the organizer if there are any sessions or opportunities that he/she suggests where you can meet the people you are looking for.

Also, study who will be exhibiting so you know who you should target.  This will save you a lot of time so you don't have to walk aimlessly.  In addition, come armed with questions or points of discussion with the firms that you would like to talk to.  You will stand out because most people will not do this ahead of time.

Once you have all of this information, then you will be better prepared to attend a conference. The last thing you want to do is spend time at the conference figuring out what you want to.  Time is precious so don't waste it.

Offer Your Services

When you talk to the organizer, ask how you can help out.  Most conferences need as many bodies as possible to help.  Make sure that you contact the organizer well in advance of the conference date so you can help with any of the planning.  In addition, ask how you can help out the day of as well.

Most of the time, the organizer will tap you to help out.  Volunteering your time is one of the best ways to connect with various individuals on a more intimate basis.  If you help with planning, then you are working together with people to achieve a common goal, which is a great way to build relationships.  In addition, you are potentially exposed to some very influential people such as the speakers, sponsors, or other executives. 

Helping out the day of, whether it is at registration or directing traffic flow, is another way to get exposed to lots of people.  The great thing about helping out is that you will be able to attend the conference for free!  After awhile, attending trade shows and events can add up.

Work the Room

While attending sessions is one of the reasons you come to a conference, make sure that you work the room as well.  My experience at most conferences is that the talks don't give you much more details than you already know.  So, I don't come away with too much new information.  With that said, take the time to meet the speakers and the attendees.  After all, part of what makes a conference a success is having various people in one setting.

Treat a conference like any other networking event by introducing yourself to people.  Don't be shy about this because everyone is there to meet people.  Not only should you work the room in the sessions, but also work the room with the booths.  As I mentioned above, spend the time studying the materials so you know who will be speaking and exhibiting.  That way, you can maximize your time and only focus on the topics and booths that will get you closer to meeting the people you would like to meet.

Also, most conferences have pre or post receptions.  Make an effort to attend these because you never know who you will meet.  Receptions can provide a more laid back environment so can potentially have a chance to talk to more people at these functions then at the conferences.  Also, it shouldn't be too hard to start a conversation because you are all there for the same reason - to learn and meet people.  Use the conference as a conversation starter.

Host Your Own Post Conference Event

A creative idea that I learned from Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time, is to host your own post conference event.

Keith suggests that you should pick a location afterwards to get people together.  So, as you are meeting people, tell them that you have organized a post conference event.  You don't need to make this very formal.  Your goal is to get people together so you can build some additional relationships.

One of the great things about conferences is that many of the attendees are from out of town so they may not have plans after the conference.  By playing host, you are giving them something to do and making a name for yourself. 

With networking, you need to always find ways to connect with people. Keith's suggestion is a very creative and effective method.

What other methods have you used to connect with people at conferences?

How You Can Learn About Relationship Building from Your Child

Relationship building is a technique that you can learn anytime.  However, it is better to start while you are young so these skills become a part of who you are.   In fact, it is a good idea to study how other people build relationships.  Learning from others is a great way to see what does and does not work. 

Therefore, I believe that you can learn some valuable relationship building techniques by studying your child’s behavior.  If you don’t have kids, then study how kids interact with each other and especially adults.

Below are some of my observations about how kids can teach you how to improve your relationship building.  I have a daughter who is almost 2.5 years so I have observed this first hand.

Happiness and Smiles

For the most part, kids are happy individuals.  With their warm smiles, they make you feel good and you want to interact with them.   If you smile, then people will want to talk with you because you are a positive person.  Negative people do not get very far in relationship building.  So, make sure that you portray happiness and warmth when interacting with others.

Loyalty

Kids are some of the most loyal people when it comes to friends.  They usually stick together no matter what happens.  Most of the time, they are very loyal to their parents as well.  In relationship building, loyalty is a key to success.   As you get to know people, you want to strive for trust and loyalty.  Once you have achieved this with someone, you will have formed a strong relationship.  These are the best types of relationships to have in your network because you can count on each other to help the other one.

Energy

It goes without saying that kids have lots of energy.  Because of this energy, they make you feel young and you are happy to be around them.  Next to happiness and smiles, having energy is a very positive trait to have when building relationships.  With the right amount of energy, you will lift people’s spirits and make them feel good about themselves.  Therefore, you will connect with them on a deeper level.

Confidence

Most kids have no fear about anything so they come across very confident.  Because of this confidence level, they try new things and find their passions.  In relationship building, you need to come across as confident to be taken serious.  Also, with confidence, you can step out of your comfort zone and attend events that you may not normally attend.

What other lessons have you observed about relationship building and kids?

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Sometimes professionals who have E20-001 on their credit, choose to do S10-101 instead of the canonical 642-066.

7 Sure Fire Ways to Make a Good First Impression

When meeting people for the first time, you need to make a good first impression.   You may not get a second chance so make every first encounter meaningful.  Below are seven techniques that can be used for any situation:

1. Smile – When you meet people, you want to make sure that you greet them with a smile.  Smiling shows that you are approachable and ready to talk.  People would rather talk to a positive person.

2. Wear Your Nametag Correctly – When attending an event and you are given a nametag that you can clip or stick on your shirt, make sure that you position it on the right side of your body. In fact, position it high and to the right. You want to do this because when you shake with your right hand, your name is visible and in the line of sight.  Next time, take a look at an executive’s nametag.  My bet is that he/she will be wearing it in this position.

3. Stand in Waiting Rooms – When you have a meeting with someone at his/her office and you arrive early, make an effort to stand in the waiting room.  Don’t sit down because you won’t be ready to greet this person when he/she enters the room.  A seasoned executive taught me this technique, which actually works.  He told me that as an executive, he would rather have the person standing and ready to meet. 

4. Firm Handshake – Make sure that you have a firm handshake when greeting someone.  Pay attention to this because it can be easily forgotten.  If you aren’t sure if you are gripping hard enough, then grip harder. Chances are that your first grip was not strong enough anyways.

5. Good Eye Contact – When talking with people, make sure that you are looking them in the eyes.  You don’t want to be caught moving your eyes all over the room. This may show that you don’t care or that you are nervous.  People will take you more serious if you focus on them.

6. Polish Your Appearance – This should go without saying, however, people need reminders. Make sure that your clothes are presentable. Don’t wear anything that has stains or holes. You will be amazed at how many people wear this type of clothes to events.  Carry an extra shirt or tie in the office.  Also, make sure that you polish your shoes on a regular basis. You want your total package to be in order.

7. Show Sincerity – When talking with people, you need to genuinely take an interest in what is said.  Make sure to ask engaging and good questions to show that you really do care.  Also, ask people how you can help them, which is the basis of starting a good relationship.

For more insight into first impressions, check out Your Networking Demeanor Can Make a Lasting Impression.

Don't Forget to Thank the Bus Driver!

Your demeanor is very important to building effective relationships.  So, you need to be a positive person when trying to connect with people.  Without a positive attitude, people will not want to connect with you. With so many other people to meet, why would anyone want to be surrounded by a negative person?  Below are some techniques that can help you to portray yourself in a positive manner:

Don't Forget to Thank the Bus Driver

Every day, you should get in the habit of thanking people whether it is the bus driver, the bagger at the grocery store, or your co-worker.  Thank people for the little things because they will appreciate the nice gesture.  People like to be recognized so why not be the person who makes others feel good about themselves.  By doing this, you will portray yourself as a nice person who people want to associate themselves with, which is important for building relationships.  After awhile, this will become second nature and you will also feel good about yourself.  I have noticed that when people, including myself, thank the bus driver, he/she responds with a smile and a "have a nice day".  If no one thanked these people, then they would probably not be as happy when interacting with their clients.

Write Handwritten Notes

Buy yourself some personalized note cards and envelopes.  Whenever you meet someone that you like, send this person a handwritten note.  In the age of email, we have lost some of the personalized touch.  So, make yourself stand out and send a note.  Also, if someone does something for you such as speaks at an event you are hosting, then send a thank you note.  Again, use your personalized note cards. I use this technique and people make an effort to thank me for the nice note.  How often do you get thanked for a thank you note?  You will be remembered for this nice thought. It is worth the effort.

Send a Book

When building relationships, it is important that you reach out to people on a regular basis. You need to stay on top of mind with people so be creative.  One such way is to send someone a book that you know he/she would like to read. The fact that you thought of this person will make a great impression.   Even if the person read this book, you will be remembered for your nice gesture.  At some point, this favor will be returned.  A great book to send people is Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time. In addition to sending a book, send articles of interest as well. Again, I would target specific people for these articles so you have more of a personal touch.

What other techniques have you used that demonstrate that you are a genuine and positive person?

What Kind of Networker are You?

Networking is a broad term that has different meanings for people.  People network for different reasons.  So, what does networking mean to you?  What kind of networker are you?

Sales Networker

If you are a sales professional, the main reason you network with people is, you guessed it, to generate sales.  When you go to networking events, you tend to focus more on meeting people who are interested in what you have to sell. 

For the most part, you are comfortable talking with almost anyone.  This is a good trait to have, not only for sales, but for meeting people.  You are usually the person who can start a conversation with no problem.  Because of this, you know how to work the room well.

One common issue with the sales networker is that you sometimes go to events more one-sided because you are looking for clients and not as focused on helping others.  So, if someone can’t help you either by becoming a customer or generating a lead, you don’t always care about building a relationship.

Be careful about being overly aggressive in this way because some sales professionals give networking a bad name.  Regardless, networking is a crucial element to sales.

Relationship Networker

If you are a relationship networker, then you are concerned about meeting people and building relationships for the long term.  You are genuinely interested in talking with people and want to know how you can help.

You are the least selfish networker because your main goal is help others first.  You know that this is important for building sustainable and long term relationships.  In addition, you enjoy trying to find ways that you can connect with each other on a regular basis whether it is meeting for lunch, making referrals, or emailing information.

A relationship networker is someone who ends up developing a positive personal brand because of your generosity and wealth of contacts.

Passive Networker

You are the person who is uncomfortable attending networking events because you have a difficult time talking to people who you don’t know.  You are not comfortable when you are out of you element.  You are generally a wall flower and don’t start any conversations with anyone.  You have to wait for someone to initiate the conversation.

However, you understand the value of meeting people so you force yourself to get out and meet people at business functions.  After awhile, you get more comfortable and usually come away with some new contacts.

You are a pleasure to talk to once you come out of you shell a little bit.  To get better, you need to talk to more people. Practice makes perfect.

Speed Networker

Speed networkers are the people who try to attend every networking event as possible.  Because you need to hit every event, you are into collecting as many business cards as you can.

Quite often you probably attend an event every night of the week, sometimes more than one in a day.  You are focused on talking to as many people as possible so you can try to connect with lots of people.

Much like the sales networker, you may be trying to sell something so your conversations may be more around what you have to offer.  Also, the relationships that you do build are more for the short-term because you don’t have the time to develop many relationships over the long term.

So, what kind of networker are you?  Any other types of networkers that you have come across?