Networking Insight

Be Careful When Asking Questions

When getting to know people, it is natural to ask questions about their business and personal lives.  In order to build long term relationships with people, you need to know something about their personal lives.  Knowing about people beyond business is healthy for the relationship.

The more and more you interact with people, the more comfortable you feel.  When this happens, you will begin to ask more personal questions. Be careful that you don't cross any uncomfortable boundaries when asking certain questions.

You know your relationships the best so you should be able to know when you should stop asking questions.  Show respect and courtesy by not asking inappropriate questions.

However, there are times when you don't know if you over stepped your boundaries until the person says something to you.  At the same time, you may think that you went to far when in reality the person didn't get offended.

This is what happened to me over the weekend while playing golf.  I was playing my third round with a person who I met last year.  Every time that we play, we get to know each other better.  So, I opened my big mouth and started asking some more personal questions.  He told me that he had 4 kids but because the oldest and youngest had such a big age gap, I acknowledged this difference.

He explained to me that his wife died giving birth to their third child.  Then, he re-married and thought that he had a son with this woman but found out later that she had an affair and that the child was not his. I felt bad for prying but he handled it well and said that it was okay to talk about because it happened a long time ago.

The lesson that I learned was not to ask too many questions that may make someone uncomfortable, which could include me.  Have you had any experiences where you asked too many questions, which resulted in an awkward moment?

MBA's Lack Interpersonal Skills

A recent article written by Anne Fisher of Fortune Magazine suggests that recent MBA graduates lack interpersonal skills.  The article mentions that some B-schools are starting to require classes that stress team building and communication skills.  To read the article, go to The trouble with MBAs

While adding these requirements is definitely moving in the right direction, I believe that schools should have a networking or relationship building class.  It would make sense for MBA online programs to have these. Students need to learn these skills early in their lives and careers.

I wish that I had a class like this during my undergraduate and graduate studies.  I learned early on, in my freshman year, that relationship building was important.  By actively involving myself in student organizations, I saw the value of networking.  I can tell you that I would have appreciated a class on this so I could have been more effective while a student.

Face-to-Face Communication Still Works

In the age of technology, many people connect virtually through email and social networking.  While this can be a good relationship builder, it is still important for face-to-face communication.  Good old fashioned networking still works! 

So, take the time to attend events to meet people in person.  After you get to know people, make sure to see them in person from time to time by asking them to lunch or coffee.  All of use are guilty of using email too much as a relationship building technique.  While I think that it is a great and necessary tool, it doesn't take place of seeing someone in the flesh.

I was inspired to write this post after reading the article "Business networking: Face-to-face communication still works" on Westport Minuteman.

Networking and Bed Sharing

You may be wondering what bed sharing has to do with networking. Well, I recently came across a review of a new service in Milan, Italy called the "Bed Sharing Project". I found this review on Springwise.com.  Below is the review, which can also be found at Networking and Bed Sharing.  I believe that this concept is a bit of a stretch for building relationships, but it is another way to meet people.  You can make your own interpretation.

While home stays might have fuddy-duddy connotations of boy scout troops or travelling bible groups, the Salone del Mobile in Milan—the annual international furniture fair that ends today—would have a hard time doing anything that isn’t cool. Which includes a Bed Sharing programme that kicked off this year.

The Bed Sharing project aims to show the host city's most hospitable side, and actively involves Milan residents by inviting them to open up their homes to (young) conference attendees who haven't been able to find or can't afford regular accommodation in hotels. Shared bedrooms needn’t be palatial: "2 square meters are enough to put up a designer."

It's a simple way to add a personal touch and human scale to massive conferences and events, while helping local professionals expand their networks by meeting colleagues from abroad. One to set up for every major conference? Since almost everything can be arranged online, coordination costs aren't high. And given most events’ very specific target audiences, sponsors should be easy to find. (Bed Sharing’s main partners were easyJet, Samsung and Italian mattress manufacturer Ennerev.) A related organisation is SpaceShare, which we'll feature soon.

Website: www.bedsharing.org
Contact: [email protected]

My Personal Branding Talk

As I mentioned in a previous post, Thinking of Others, I had the honor of being invited to speak at a University of Chicago Graduate School of Business Marketing Roundtable event.  Well, tonight was the night that I spoke to a group of about 30 people. The title of my talk was "Your Personal Brand is Your Networking Identity".  This was my first time speaking on this topic.  I believe that it was well received.

Tonight, I talked about how you need to define your personal brand by recognizing  your own characteristics that make you unique.  See my prior post, Define Your Personal Brand for more details about this idea.  Next, I shared some personal branding techniques such as picking a specialty, becoming visible, and becoming a subject matter expert. Lastly, I talked about how the value of personal branding can enhance your relationships and business.

I have begun to diversify my discussion topics so I have a variety of talks that I can give.   I enjoy speaking about networking to people.  It makes me feel good if someone can learn something new from what I have to say. Much of what I talk about is from experience and observation so I know that what I am sharing really works.

Do you speak regularly about any areas of expertise?   If so, have you diversified your discussion topics?

Practice Your Manners

At all times, especially in networking settings, you should behave with appropriate etiquette.  You don't want people to think negatively about you.  Your networking demeanor is so important for building relationships.

John Heckers, who is an executive career transition coach, has written an excellent article in The Business Journal of Milwaukee. The article is worth a read at Practice Your Manners at All Networking Events.

Let me know your thoughts. Do you have any stories or techniques to share about manners at networking events?

Define Your Personal Brand

All of us have a personal brand that we portray to our peers, family, and community.  Our brand is something that we have been building our entire lives.  In fact, it is who we are and this is what makes every person unique.  So, what is your personal brand?

You need to define your own brand so you can effectively build relationships.  The more defined your brand, the more memorable you will be with others.  So, what is the best way to define your brand?

First, take a look at your characteristics - abilities, accomplishments, appearance, profession, and interests.  These items are what makes you "you" so start with these to define your self.  Next, pick your sphere of influence - the people who you want to brand yourself around such as peers, community, family, industry, profession, and company.  Third, pick a specialization (or area of focus) that you want to be known for.  Your specialization is usually tied to an accomplishment.  Fourth, make yourself visible through speaking, writing, blogging, etc. so people know that you an expert on a certain topic.

As you develop and grow your personal brand, you will see the value by enhancing your business and personal relationships.  Also, you will feel good about yourself because you will have more confidence and be able to help others.

Do you have any personal branding techniques or stories to share?

Recommended reading - The Personal Branding Phenomenon by Peter Montoya

Networking On Steroids

Forbes.com sat down with new CEO, Dan Nye, of LinkedIn.com.  It is an interesting interview because Dan didn't know the power of LinkedIn until he went through the recruiting process with LinkedIn's founder Reid Hoffman.  Apparently, Reid did reference checks on Dan through people on LinkedIn.  So, Reid found information about Dan that he didn't tell him before the interview.  This is an interesting and effective use of LinkedIn.

In the interview, Dan also compares LinkedIn to Facebook and Friendster as well as talks about LinkedIn's plans for future growth.

For the complete interview, go to Networking on Steroids.

Finding Job Candidates Through Networks?

The other day I received an email from a recruiter asking me the following question:

"I wonder if you might have any suggestions on how to reach qualified job candidates via networking. We have a few jobs for which we're having difficulty drumming up the best talent, such as a Marketing Manager for Medical Products and a PR Account Manager with real estate experience. Based on your networking expertise and variety of connections, do you have any thoughts on how to reach these candidates? Thanks very much for any help."

Here is my response to her:

To answer your question, the best candidates, as you can guess, will mostly likely be found through existing relationships. Here are a few techniques, which you may or may not have tried:
   
1) Use LinkedIn.com to search for candidates through people you know. Many recruiters find candidates this way.

2) Contact clients and ask them if they have any qualified friends or business colleagues

3) Contact a local university and talk to the head of a department (i.e. marketing or real estate) to find out if they know of any alums, students, or adjunct faculty who may be qualified. They may also be able to push this out to their alumni.
   
4) Contact someone in membership or the President of an industry association or networking group to find out if they know of anyone. Also, they may be able to send the job description to their members.
   
5) Get involved with blogs so you can start a dialogue with people who may know of qualified candidates. I would choose blogs that are related to the industry that you seeking a candidate.

Do you have any other techniques that you can share?

Personal Relationship Management Training Course

Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone and Founder of Ferrazzi Greenlight, is offering a unique training course called "Personal Relationship Management".  Keith is a master networker so whatever he has to share will be worthwhile.

I am a subscriber to Keith's newsletter so below is what he has to say about the course.  It seems like a neat training session.  If anyone attends, then let me know what you think.

Friends,

Many people have often asked me about attending the training
courses that my company offers to corporate clients. Some of you,
who have gotten to know me well, have been invited as our guests to
private training events.  For others, who have not had the
opportunity and would like to, my team and I are conducting a
fee-based training course on May 16th and 17th in Dallas during an
event hosted by the Leadership Shows Group.

The course, Personal Relationship Management, helps people build
deeper, more meaningful relationships with their prospects,
clients, colleagues, peers and strategic partners.  This course is
relevant to all audiences, from executives to current students. 

For additional information, please visit
www.ferrazzigreenlight.com/LeadershipEvent

Warmest,

K