Connecting Outside Your Circle by Keith Ferrazzi

Keith Ferrazzi just shared the below information in a recent email.

Many of us have no trouble making connections in a room of people who are just like us - we feel comfortable, we feel confident, we know what to say. We're reasonably sure that many of the people we meet could become friends.

But what about when it's time to meet and connect with people who you think aren't like you at all? This came up in my mind this week while thinking about what it's like to transition a virtual relationship into the real world.

When you're meeting people outside of your stomping ground - whether it's Internet friends, folks at a regional conference, or even locals at networking event - here's a list of tips. They aren't geared toward helping you get more business cards, although they may well do that. Their purpose is to help you truly connect in a way that will bring a genuine smile to your face and warmth to your heart for hours or days after.

1. Project the positive before you enter the room. If you tell yourself - twenty times if need be - that you are entering a room full of friends, you'll feel more relaxed and create that reality.

2. Before you meet, get yourself ready to dig in and be authentic. Don't put on airs - just be your generous, caring self. Drop the acts. Drop your barriers. If you talk about what you are really passionate about - and then tell stories about those passions that bring them to life - you'll immediately find common ground. Your dreams may not resemble each other in the least, but what's the same is how they make you both feel - happy, engaged, and excited.

3. Don't be afraid to talk about your struggles, too. Don't go negative; instead talk about how you're not letting those challenges hold you back.

4. Listen, and listen generously. This one is tough for some. Ask lots of questions. The interest you show in them will make you more memorable than trying to impress them with your life story.

5. Make a proactive choice to connect. We can always find ways to connect, if we make that our goal. Remember, it truly is a choice - your choice. So go for it!

Here are a few other suggestions to add to this great list:

6. Keep an open mind to meeting new people. You never know who you will meet.

7. Realize that you need to grow your network.  You should consistently be meeting new people. It is not a good idea to only interact with your closed network.

8. Give to others. When meeting other people, have the mindset that you will try to help them. So, actively listen for how you can help them. At the same time, go ahead and ask how you can help. This will ease the conversation to be about them and not you.

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Comments

[Robert A. Henru]

Hi Jason, interesting point you share in no.3
"3. Don't be afraid to talk about your struggles, too. Don't go negative; instead talk about how you're not letting those challenges hold you back. "
I thot it's always not a good idea sharing struggles to strangers. And twisting it into a new perspective really helps.
Cheers,
Robert

[Jason Jacobsohn]

Thanks but Keith is the one who came up with that point. He is a networking expert. Check out www.nevereatalone.com.